A Tragic Time
by Desenchanter
Summary: Tragedy leads Kikyou to wish for a different life, but time traveling leads to a tricky situation... Twisted-canon plot. Non-canon pairing. Written for iy wiltedrose. Warning: Smut/light-lemon. 2nd place Best Romance Other at Feudal Association 2010.


**x{ ****A**** T**_ragic _**T**_ime_ **}x**

_An Inu no Taisho & Kikyou Love Story_

[...**x**...]

Hurt was foretold to the maiden burdened with diligent duties, "he will be the death of you," so many had whispered to her over the shifting seasons that she lingered closer and closer to the inu-hanyou that had in an off sort of way enchanted her. Their words rang through her mind constantly in a hush, when he was around, when he was always, and when she fought to protect the shikon no tama.

Did he wish for it? Was that his goal, the shikon no tama? Not her, not her affections, not her touch?

Yet he was there, by her side, and appeared so vulnerable as if he had similar worries waging its way through his mind about her.

_He will be the death of you_… somehow; it resonated deep within her, as if her soul was warning her just like those around her.

But, those around her were prejudice, those around her could not understand what she saw in a hanyou—they didn't know anything. Not her. Not him.

_But then their words came true_ in a blood bath. Claws threw her shoulder; a smirking hanyou with a greedy glare as he stabbed her threw the heart with cold words, confirming her worst suspicions. If her mind was not so baffled, her heart so broke, her wound so throbbing, perhaps she would have seen through the sinister scene instead of following through to pierce the man she might have forever loved through the chest to pin him to a tree.

He was the death of her but she could not be the same for him—regardless. A sleeping spell was all she could do, though the scream in the back of her head begged to differ.

The weakest of breath left her lips as she staggered over to pick up the shikon no tama, the epitome of all her misery, with wavering russet orbs she stared at the jewel in her frail fingers. If only she had never been bestowed with the duty to guard it, if only she had never met the golden-eyed cruel hanyou, if only she was not about to die, if only… she had lived a different life.

She did not say it aloud, how was she to know the jewel would still grand her wish?

"Onee-sama!" her adored younger sister cry out as she rushed towards her collapsing figure.

Everything faded to black…

[…**x**…]

A gentle frigid breeze brushed against her brunet bangs so they could kiss her forehead, a muffled moan let her thin lips before she managed to pry open her lids to look about.

_What had happened?_

The memories rushed back to her in waves—an evil smirk, blood stained claws grasping the slowly tainted shikon, crimson streams, an arrow to a red robed chest.

She died.

But then, how was it that there was no ache in her shoulder? No pang to course through her as she pushed off the ground to look about at the forest she knew so well but it was different, smaller.

_Onee-sama _chimed in her mind as she glanced around to locate the sister that had screamed for her but found nothing instead.

Was this how death was?

With reluctance she found her way to her feeble feet to wander towards were her village once was, yet no longer stood. Merely a field, no sign that life had ever once thrived upon it.

What had happened?

Her hands ventured over her body, warmth, and scar less skin…

Then she blinked away the bafflement to stroll back to where she had arose, yet no inu-hanyou could be seen pinned to the Goshinboku tree but another aspect about it was wrong—it was thinner, petit even.

How could that be?

Confusion waved through her as she began her aimless journey for answers, through the field that was once a village, through the land that was once filled with youkai now held a chilling calm. By nightfall she found a place to lie and try to sleep the best she could with a mind that refused to cease.

_Betrayal, ache, bloody claws, a fanged smirk, hurtful words all haunted her dreams._

An abrupt breath brought her back to life as she snapped up; she was mystified by the sight. She wasn't being chased by the inu-hanyou she thought held affections for her? No… she shut her eyes as she let her rigid body relax, it was just a dream—_nightmare_.

Love was cruel, the twinge that lingered from it was worse. Once she was told that love made life worth living, to her, life was better without it. Before him her mission was simple, her desires were meek, after him, she questioned everything, she decided to give up her life for him only… to be deceived.

Screams caught her attention, to run and save the creature was embedded in her being even without her precious bow and arrows so she sped towards it only to stop on the hill top and watch as a massive, yet almost elegantly moving, inu youkai tearing threw a horde of small, insignificant youkais.

She stood there, in awe, the first sign of life she had seen was torn apart in front of her before the inu youkai landed in the center of it all to glow a blue illumination as it miniaturized to its human form.

He took her breath away—none had ever instantly affected her like him but that was the purpose of youkais human form, was it not?

Long tresses of silver, golden orbs—_to remind her of him_—violet strips on his firm cheeks, a crescent moon on his forehead and ancient amour over his graceful kimono—a man as handsome as could be.

As if he knew, his golden glare glanced up to lock upon her with heart-stopping intensity. Perhaps he saw her as no threat, for his gaze softened and turned away before he left.

_Who was that?_

[…**x**…]

All was different once she finally reached a village, everything was… older. Her methods of healing were far more advanced than the local healer; eagerly they requested she became their miko, without anywhere to go so had agreed.

Had the shikon no tama granted her wish only to make her whole world vanish? If not for Kaede, she might not have cared, but forever there would be another ache in her heart to mourn for that lost, to beat along with the twinge that twisted each time she wandered what had become to the inu-hanyou who had betrayed her.

_Betrayal…_

Days shifted on, nights faded away, starry skies, full moon to bleak veils.

Not one sight of the youkai that enchanted her in a way never before—but, why did she hope so?

"Why is it so quite, why no youkai attacks?" She once inquired as she picked some herbs, or was that how it should be in normal village not burden with the task to protect an annoying jewel?

"Inu no Taisho," her companion answered, "he is the lord of the land and keeps everything in order."

"But he is a youkai?"

"He is," she nodded with a sly smile, "but the handsomest one I have ever laid eyes."

To that, she ignored her to carry on with the task at hand. Never again would she falter and give her heart to another, youkai, human, hanyou—it did not matter. That pain she would never experience again.

It was her resolve.

[…**x**…]

High in the sky the glowing, bright globe lit the dark sky to illuminate her way from the outskirt of the village where she tended to a secluded elder fellow. For so long she hadn't had to worry about keeping her guard up against any lurking youkai, one prowled closer and closer up to the apparently unsuspecting sweet maiden.

Its fangs were dripping with anticipation as it lunged at her, though she did not _need _to keep up her guard she did, along with her archery skills. One shot through the heart and the villainous creature was nothing more.

Another hitched arrow and she turned to the powerful aura to her left, for a moment she faltered when she saw his familiar shimmering golden gaze. _But it wasn't him…_

"Who are you?" Kikyou questioned with her steady, void voice.

"Humans call me Inu no Taisho," he replied with his deep yet smooth voice as his glance moved up her statue.

"The lord of the west," she murmured but did not dare lower her arrow.

"Why proceed to point that thing at me?" He inquired with a lifted brow.

"Why wouldn't I?"

A small smirk shifted up his lips at that, a woman that did not go flushed because of her presence? How rare. A nod then he was gone.

[…**x**…]

Just a tinge of her was flattered to feel his presence around every once and a while, to feel his powerful eyes upon her as she went about her days, herb hunting, healing, and—her favorite—to play with the village children.

Children, she loved them yet… would never have one of her own. If she could not love, she could not marry, she could not have a family of her own.

The rest of her loathed the feel of his interest upon her; it was too familiar, too much like the way a certain inu-hanyou had watched her for so long. Unlike before, she would not acknowledge his presence, she would ignore him, and he would go away…

Not another, not one so much like him, she couldn't be so foolish.

But the question begged to be asked, _what did he want_?

One night, she found her answer. Out again to tend to the elder fellow on the edge of the village she walked home in solitude, only to feel his presence once more—that time, closer, that time right behind her. So she stood and tilted her head to the side, "why are you following me?"

"Curiosity."

"About?"

"You."

He was so close; his breath upon her neck gave her a small shiver as she shut her eyes.

"Why?"

"Humans have always been out of my reach, I can understand my own kind with ease, but you creatures…? I try to figure them out, I thought I had it until you… giving, giving, giving, yet nothing for yourself? Most mortal woman hold interest in my looks, yet you turn a cheek without hesitation."

"Insulted?"

"Slightly," he grinned as he walked around to stand in front of her, to evaluate her russet orbs, "who are you?"

She took a moment to mull over the prospect, what harm could there be in giving her name? "Kikyou."

"I know that already," he assured, his hearing was grand, he had caught the name the first time someone addressed her while he watched. "I _mean_ who are you?"

With a bent brow she turned away, "I haven't time for you. Please stop following me."

[…**x**…]

Never did he stop, it bothered her at first, it was _too_ much like it used to be but… then it wasn't. He confronted her. He spoke to her. He was the instigator, and the one that refused to stop and by no means was bashful about his interest. He was confident like the inu-hanyou had never been, proud but not arrogant, handsome not cute, imposing not vulnerable.

"Why?" She once asked him when she stopped her herb hunting to stand up and see him leaning upon a tree to observe her.

"You are interesting," he shrugged.

"When will you stop?"

"When I figure you out," he smiled the taunting smile that could make a star shiver.

"Tell me how that works out," she sighed before she turned her back to walk away; perhaps she added another sway of her hips while she did. That, though, she would never admit to.

She was not the feminine type, not like the laughing ladies in the village, not once did she worry to make sure each strand of her hair was in its proper place, not once had she worn a pretty kimono, not once had she thought of herself as a _woman_ over a _miko._

She had hoped, though, once she would. With the help of a less handsome, more adorable hanyou that… broke her heart.

She was in a different world than the one she once knew, that she had accepted.

At night, she still wandered what had happened. Where was her younger sibling? The village she could do without, the people that simply adored her for what she did _for_ them, not who she was, but her Kaede? The girl she practically raised by herself?

A sigh always left her lips at the thought…

[…**x**…]

"You are the lord of the west, one would assume you have a better use of your time," she proposed upon another meeting, "do you not?"

"I keep everything in order," he assured, "do not worry of matters above you."

Above her, she nodded at that and turned her cheek to him, "I have more pressing matters to deal with then your constant intrusions."

"If you say so," he replied once he walked up to her to lift his perfectly pointed clawed fingers to brush a few strands of her away. "There, that's better."

"Are you trying to woo me?" She staunchly muttered.

"Perhaps, how is it working?"

"You are failing," she asserted as she hit his hand away—though, a tinge in her heart requested otherwise. Wasn't she a fool?

"For now," he whispered back with his grin before he disappeared into the darkness.

_For now_, it seemed so threatening and it was… her heart was something she could not allow to be toyed with anymore, was that his simple goal? Just like a similar looking hanyou…

Then a whole moon cycle went by and she didn't feel him around, not once did a youkai even come near the village, at first she was almost happy then a slow void became apparent along with the disappointment she felt every day that went by without a sign from him.

It was silly, why did she care?

_He was a youkai, he was a youkai, he was a youkai. _

Did she constantly have to develop an attraction to something that was forbidden? There were plenty of suitable men within the village so why…? Was it self-punishment?

"Come with me," he said when he appeared once more. A weight seemed to vanish just like that, a smile even threatened to arise when she saw him in all his moonlit glory.

"Why?" She replied, instead of '_where'_, for that did not matter, she would go upon his request if there was a proper 'why'.

"I have something for you."

It was tempting but, "why should I trust you?"

"Why not?" He inquired with a tilt of his head as his eyes shimmered over her again, each time he did that, each time it was as if she were the only object of interest from there to the sea.

It seemed reasonable '_why not_'? Foolish was unsuitable for her, moronic was too kind, she was below both, she was far worse, because she went with him that night, away from the village, away from the life she knew, to a prominent castle hidden away in the mountains.

"Is this where you live?"

"I have no need for such a home," he asserted as he opened the gates and allowed her in to the eerily empty place.

"Then… who does it belong to?"

"A mortal that crossed me," he simply stated, the implication was clear—he was dead.

A frown almost formed but the earnest truth was she did not care, a mortal should have know better than to cross the great Inu no Taisho, rumors were vast about his conquests, about his power, about his flings with mortal females—were they just rumors, or did they arise from some sort of truth?

"Why are we here?"

"It is away from the mortals of your village," he declared with a slight smile as he stopped in one room and awaited her, "it is away from your duties."

"Yes," she murmured, "and so?"

"And so, perhaps I can learn to understand you better when those factors are taken away," he supposed as he gestured towards a kimono, "I have never seen you out of your miko wardrobe."

"I have never seen you out of your armor," she countered.

"That is true," he smiled, "I will take mine off, if you change into that."

"It takes more than one person to put on a kimono properly," she began only to add as his lips parted, "and, no, I will not allow your assistance."

"I would never dream to ask," he grinned, "I will send in some of my wards to serfs."

A part of her, the majority of her, beckoned for her to leave the moment he exited the room. To go far, far away from the man with a dubious intent, but the other part of her that had began to blossom in need of a feminine touch whispered for her to stay in such a sweet lull that she did, and without argument she wound up in a elegant red kimono—at least she could say she had worn a pretty kimono once in her lifetime, finally.

When all had left her so she could examine herself alone a smile truly arose, she did not look half bad, if she could say so. Did she really have any intent to show the inu-youkai that had brought her there, though? Half of her said no, that she could get it off herself, the other half said _yes_, why not?

And the 'why not' always won.

She turned her head when she heard him inquire if he could come in, she assured him, "I am decent."

She held her breath as the door opened, silly anticipation swirling within her before she saw the handsome man that could very well be the death of her heart, if not her being, enter. Just as he had said, his armor was gone to reveal his blue attire with moon patterns, he declared, "decent is too subtle of a word. You are quite beautiful."

She meant not to, but she felt heat rise to her cheeks, surely they were red as she turned her face away only to feel his touch upon her chin to tilt her head up so her russet stare could meet his golden gaze.

"Do you feel different now that you are out of your miko wardrobe?"

_Vulnerable, weak, desirable_… but she lied, "no."

His fingers slid down her cheek as his gaze devoured her appearance, "you are too pretty to be a mere mortal."

Her eyes avoided his at that, 'but I am' would have been too obvious, so instead she remained mute.

"I still do not understand you."

"What is there to understand?" She asked, "I am a miko, I respect my duties," except for at that moment, when she neglected them to wander off with a youkai… "and I enjoy them."

"Do you?" He questioned with a lightly lifted brow, "you go through the motions properly, you do all you are asked and more, but do you enjoy them? Is that what you want your entire, short, mortal life to be like?"

Meekly, her eyes wandered back to his forever pouring golden gaze, and for some reason they sparked the truth from her thin lips, "no."

"No?" He repeated with curiosity, "then why do you do it?"

"I haven't anything else to do," she whispered back softly.

He nodded slowly at that as his eyes washed over her, "no family?"

"No," none that she knew where they were, at least.

"What a lonely life," he muttered.

"And you?" She murmured.

"I have a son," he replied as his touch slid away from her, his eyes could no longer meet hers, "he will be a powerful youkai someday and able to take over my land."

"What do you do?" She inquired with mild curiosity, though in stung to do so, "do you creatures marry or mate?"

"Do I have a wife or a mate?" He translated with a serene smirk, "is that what you are trying to get out, miko?"

"No," yet yes, all at the same time.

"I have neither," he assured, "just a youkai that I shared a moment in time with."

"That is all you call the mother of your child?"

"So hostile," he taunted, "women, you band together, don't you?"

She shook her head and glanced away with a sigh, "do you see your son often?"

"Yes, he is my pride, but I do not want to discuss him any further."

A nod was her simple reply to that before she felt him take her hands gently into his robust ones, "I would like to share a moment in time with you, miko."

Her better judgment told her _no_, that she should not agree to whatever, exactly, that meant. She could not allow her heart to be so exposed, not to him, not to the youkai whose intentions were murky at best, but her heart—the very thing she sought to protect—betrayed her and begged for a 'yes', when else would she have such a chance? No human in the village held her interest… why not? But that time there were so many reasons why not, too many reasons…

"I cannot," she barely managed to say as she retracted her hands from his and turned her entire body away from him, as hard as it was for her.

"Why?"

She shut her eyes to that, and tried her best to ignore him as he walked up behind her to gently caress her arms, "why would I say yes?"

"Tell me why you say no," he countered.

"There are so many reasons," she rejoined.

"Name one, that is all I am asking."

She had every intention to, every desire to do just that, but then she turned her head so she could see him and all her resolve washed away—she could not think of even one.

_She could not be perfect always… deep down, she was a woman, and held a need to be treated as such._

And he feed that need, with his gentle touch, his soft kisses upon her neck that she exposed to him, his slow exposure of her skin as he let one section of her kimono fall to the ground at a time. Each new sections of her silky skin revealed he paid particular attention to, while his hands became acquainted with her body, slowly groping his way up to her bosom.

Her gasps were muffled, but it took so much will to keep her lips shout and not to bend to his every whim. Finally, all was discarded and he turned her to him, to order her, "open your eyes."

Feebly, she obeyed to see his intense stare, "keep them open."

"Why?" whispered the delicate flower.

"I want to see them," he replied in a sweet hush, how could she deny him?

With care he lied her down upon the futon that had already been out in the room—_she should have known from the start_—to begin his calculated assault down her from her neck, to her collarbone, down to her perky mounts to first take her risen pink nub into his warm mouth to lick and pry and tug as he delicately swirled its twin around.

She bit her lips together all the more to keep from a moan, she raised her hands up, one above her head to grasp at her brunet strands and the other to cover her mouth. She didn't want to fully give in to her pleasure, to give him the satisfaction in hearing her cries.

_So cold,_ the moment he left her breasts to move down her stomach, making systematic stop here and there until he reached her nether regions. A sweet shiver shifted up her at the prospect. For a flicker of the moment he relished in the smell of her arousal before he effortlessly parted her thighs to start his laps below, his tongue could work wonders to stir up sensations the miko had never once dreamed of before. With tightly locked lids she bit her index finger to keep from letting out anything more than a 'uh' and petit 'un'.

There was no restraining the gasp she released when he slipped a finger into her to plunge in and out and swirl around to flicker around and heat her entity up. "Open your eyes," he ordered in a whisper.

When she didn't, he pulled away from her until she murmured a, "wait" and pried her lids apart to show him the most subtle of sweet, shimmering russets.

"Good," he grinned as he situated himself between her thighs, "keep your eyes open for me."

She nodded at him as he pulled her hand away from her face to interlace his fingers with hers to pin it above her head, "I will."

One plunge and her innocence was broken, she gasped and shut her eyes briefly before she felt his lips caress her neck up to her ears and felt his warm breath as he told her once more to open them. With a few spared tears she obeyed to look at his close golden gaze, "keep them open for me."

For him, of course.

He swayed in and out of her, aiming to hit a sweet spot each time to cause a muffled cry. Each new thrust into her was a wonderful novel delight to course through her and twirl and tighten the gathering need at the pit of her stomach as he quickened his pace into him.

"Keep your eyes on me," he ordered in a strained voice as he pulled her body closer to him, to press his chest against her impassioned body, "stop…" he moaned, "resisting."

"Yes," she cried out as he plunged deeper, she arched into her lovers firm body as his free hand wandered down to grasp her rear and squeeze her closer.

The entire time, his deliciously determined golden gaze was locked with her brown bedroom eyes. Sparks flied between them as their desire heightened, she was the first to yield to her twirling tension, she had no idea what to cry when she met her first climax so she let loose a meaningless moan, just as he did after she clenched around him and gave way to her after-math joy.

He collapsed upon her afterwards to pant from their passionate union.

She fell asleep in her lovers arms, to awake without him there…

Again, she let herself be had.

[…**x**…]

The ache that pulsed through her with each heartbeat got worse at the days floated by. That was all he had wanted… how could she not see that? She had, she just… didn't want to believe it.

On the brighter side, the side she never once looked on, the inu-hanyou that had betrayed her never once came to mind during the harsh winter that cascaded across the village. The cold was welcomed, though; it matched the way she felt inside.

She tried her best to ignore the signs, the nausea, the fatigue, and all the other things that blatantly told her what she didn't want to know. _One_ mistake could lead to a lifetime change? Forever she would be scolded for her choice, for her _one_ mistake, _one_ night of passion to lead to such misfortune...

_Never had she thought she would actually have a child of her own…_

When she heard that the village near them had an outbreak of some sort of illness she volunteered herself to venture through the blizzard with her herbs she had gathered for the cold months. Was it dangerous? Yes. Should she not? Yes. But… she was still in denial of what her body was trying to tell her as she pushed against the heavy wind, at first it was just flickers of snowflakes, it was not until midway through that the furry filled wind beat against her.

With another burst she truly fell to her knees—really, winter would be the end of her?

Her eyes watered from the cold and wind, a fading figure in the wooshing wind barely caught the attention out of the corner of her eyes as she fell asleep.

[…**x**…]

Warmth wrapped itself around her before she managed to open her eyes and see an elder lady sitting above her, "Kikyou-sama, I presume?"

"Yes," she whispered while she tried to get up but a pang through her, "un…"

"Please rest," the woman requested as she gently pushed her shoulders down, "you strained yourself too much in your… condition."

She shut her eyes in shame at that as she turned her cheek to her.

"You needn't worry, I will not tell anyone," she murmured, "even the best of us falter."

To that she weakly smiled, "what is it that those who are sick are suffering from?"

"High fevers, violent coughing, death," she explained as she ringed out a cloth before placing it on her forehead. "For the night, please rest."

"How did I get here…?" She inquired at the edge of sleep.

"You apparently passed out just outside my hut."

But she didn't think she made it that far…

She rested for that one night but as soon as she awoke she tended to at least ten people that day, preparing the herbs she thought were proper. That night she barely slept in order to tend to a set of children with the ailment, the next day she tended to others, for a solid week she was around the ill. Truly, she should have known—_she did_—that she would have caught the same sickness.

The elder lady that helped her the first night cared for her for the derivation of her feverish fervor, her constant coughing, and fatal fatigue… in the midst of the misery, in moonless night, she felt a terrible pain in the pit of her gut.

The result for her one mistake was lost in her sickness…

[…**x**…]

The winter withered away so she returned to her original village, skinner than before, frail from the toil the illness had on her. It took her the entire season to finally fight off and weak from her own internal dismay. She never wanted to keep it… she barely acknowledged it… and he never returned.

She barely felt the need to carry on, as spring slowly came way she began to wonder if she would have rather never used the shikon no tama… dead?

A sigh escaped her lips as she sat down under the shade of a tree to watch as the children pranced about. The day shifted to dusk, then the giggles stopped so they could return to their mothers.

_Mothers…_

With a sigh she shut her eyes to rest, what was the point in returning to her home?

A darker shadow covered her, she froze, the aura was familiar… meekly, she managed, "what?"

"You look frail," a soothing and deep voice stated.

"It happens," she sighed.

"You work too hard."

"How would you know?"

"I have been watching," he murmured as he leaned against the tree, "you almost got yourself killed in the winter. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." She supposed.

"Come with me."

"Absolutely not," she retorted swiftly.

"That was quick," he chuckled, "I mean it differently this time."

"No."

"Not even a moment of hesitation," he mumbled, "I forget how a short time for me is such a long time for a mortal. I have been thinking of you," he assured as he lifted his hand to brush her brunet strands, but she leaned out of his touch instantly. "I have been thinking a _great_ deal about you."

"Good for you," she rejoined before she found her way to her feet and began off only to have him grasp her hand and pull her to press her body against his, her other hand wrapped around her waist to keep her close. "Let. Go."

"No," he responded, "come with me."

"_No_," she snapped, "why do you believe I am so foolish? That I would make the same mistake twice?"

"_Mistake?"_ he repeated like it was acid on his tongue, "I'd beg to differ."

"Let go," she scowled as she tried to pull herself away but failed, "let go!"

"I have never seen you angry," he observed, "finally showing some emotions, are we?"

"Fine, you want to know?" She snarled as she struggled to get away but he was stronger, "I hate you! I hate this place! I hate you everything here! I want to go home!"

"Where is home?" he inquired, "is it this village? Is there somewhere else? Someone else?"

"Why do you insist on torturing me!" She screamed, teary eyes threatening to break loose—_there was only so much she could handle._

That made his grip soften but not give way, his golden globes' intensity diminished until he leaned forward to be but a fraction away from her lips.

"Stop!" She beckoned as she turned her cheek away, "stop, just leave me be. Find another pretty mortal to screw with, but leave me alone… I can't take it anymore."

"When I say come with me, I mean for good," he assured.

That made her thrashing cease.

"Rumors float about, but I have never been with a mortal until you, I was never interested enough until you, so come with me, I want to give you a better life, you needn't worry about tending to others. Come with me."

All the hurt… all the longing for his return… if she pushed him away then, if she told the lord of the west to go away, that pain would not disappear, but if she dared to follow him… dared to fall for his charms again, then she might only get hurt herself…

_She'd rather keep falling if it meant she could know his touch._

[…**x**…]

He took her away, as promised; she told him all her sorrows, all she had endured. At first shock took him, at first he could not form a word, at first the premier sign of authentic emotions spewed across his face—_hurt_. Hurt at the idea that during his time away to cease an attempted coup against him, during his neglect of he lost the chance at a second heir…

Swiftly, with full certainty, he swore never to let such pain, such hardship, befall upon her again. He would protect her, he would never let her know agony again… she decided to be a silly woman, she decided to believe him.

From spring through the summer all the way to mid-fall she stayed with the lord, her lovely lover as he bestowed beloved words upon her, she was allowed to be a woman, she was allowed to live her life, she was given so much, and her heart was freed from pain.

Love, life was better with it.

"I have to," he whispered upon her milky bare shoulder as he stroked her fingers down her side, "leave for a short while."

"Why?" She frowned as she tilted her head towards him, her russet locked with his golden globes.

"A youkai clan thinks they can overthrow me," he shook his head, "fools. It will take me but a few days to smite them."

To that she smiled and nodded, of course her lover could do that, he was so powerful—_a youkai and she was a miko but she no longer cared about either facts._

He left upon the night of the full moon to journey and slaughter the clan that meant to take his power, they all swore he would get his for his deeds, that he would know pain, but he didn't think of it, he didn't take their word as he ripped them to shreds.

_They were but a distraction…_

And he did not know, not until he returned to the castle he had given his mortal mistress, not until the suffocating worry struck him the moment a whiff of appalling scent stabbed. He rushed, and rushed, and rushed to find her, a deadly wound upon her shoulder, _too much blood_.

"Kikyou…" he murmured as he dropped to his knees next to her to lift her into his arms, "Kikyou…?"

"I hadn't…" she mumbled, "a bow…"

His eyes wandered towards the single dead youkai in her chambers but he could smell the scent of another, one that had escaped.

"I was," she sighed as she cringed, "happy… thank you."

"Don't," he insisted, "you will… be alright."

"You will be," she assured with a smile when she finally found a way to lift her hand to stroke his cheek, "we always… knew you would outlive me."

"Not this quickly," he shook his head but it was no use—_his love died in his arms._

He would never make the same mistake twice… seasons shifted, a cold barrier erected itself around his wounded heart, he found the youkai and killed it slowly in hopes it would relinquish the pain he felt but it did not. Not until a nobleman's daughter—_that looked so much like _her—began to show interest in him. At first, he held nothing for her in return but she was kept up, she wanted to heal his pain.

_And she looked so much like her_—that was what mattered, when his deceased lover let down her hair, if she had black hair like Izayoi then they might have passed for twins. He gave in; he found a way to love again. He refused to repeat past mistakes, when he discovered she was with child he protected her. He rushed through a battle, acquiring a mortal wound, to find his way back to his lover as she gave birth, to save her life—_he would not let history repeat itself_.

He would die, but Izayoi would live, and so would the child he dubbed, "Inuyasha."

Neither ever knew the shikon no tama did not fade away upon her wish but embedded itself into her soul only to be born again in her reincarnation that would one day tumble through the well to shatter the it into shards. Neither ever knew that a part of her soul would be brought back, but only the part that had known hatred, hurt, from the inu-hanyou she had learned to forget with the aid of a handsome man she was forced to forget as only part of her was locked in a clay body that was never hers... the cycle would always repeat itself and no one knew.

* * *

**A/N:** I wrote this for **iy_wiltedrose a Kikyou writing contest live journal**, I just got into writing for LJ communities, it's a great deal of fun.  
The prompt was alternative pairing, no word limit. I absolutely love non-canon pairings, they are just for fun, like pretty much all fanfics, so deal with it. If you don't like non-canon pairings... well, that's just boring.

I hope you enjoyed, reviews are welcomed.


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